Christmas is abt EMMANUEL

Christmas...

Follow the star...

receive Christ...

He came to give

As for me, i receive.

What is the one thing you want for Christmas?



Xixi, a five year old, said that she wants

*JESUS CHRIST*

Me too.

i dun understand

This Christmas season has been an eye opener....given the opportunity to attend 4 christmas dinners or wateva prior to Christmas Day.

1)Dinner at Dylan's place with my social work friends

2)Charlotte's fellowship outreach with Meiyin, Char and Gerard

3)Church evanglistic service with Mummy and Bro

4)Youth Zone Christmas Dinner

You noe, the more i see, the more i can't bear to see,
the most i hope and long, the more disappointed i get,
The more i want to do something, the more i want to give up.




I think i feel beaten, i told myself to believe, to wait upon the Lord...to trust, to open my eyes and observe, to look at the good and not the bad but somehow...i am still so expectant and so disheartened...


How? What does it take? Out of me and out of those around me?
Why and since when did everything evolve as such?

A ministry that relies on the strength of man fails even when a programme or event is successful. A ministry that seeks to serve merely out of human strength...my ministry...

What am i doing?

What are we doing?

Who am I?

Who are We?

please pray with me

Please take a few minutes and pray alongside with me if u read this:


1) That i may be broken before the Lord daily

2) That I may abide in Him and that He may abide in me

3) That the Peace of God may direct my steps daily

4) That the Joy of the Lord be the Light of my life

5) That the Love of the Lord will overflow out of me

What next? Then?

Yesterday morning, i went with my brother to FCBC for service...

The Lord answered my prayers and blessed me there...

Many a times we thought that we were blessing others but in the end, we ended up being blessed...

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These days i was troubled, troubled by the fact that i no longer pray for others....for an entire sem, my prayers revolved around my own walk with God

He answered my prayers...

Then,

I began to wonder if there is something wrong with me, y am i not praying for others?

Was the revelation that i received regarding my gift.....gone?

What is this that i am going through now...?


I was worried....anxious and .....i dunno....just....wat is this that has happened to me?


so i started praying to ask God to help me to pray for others, to have a heart for others...


Then i realised.


Prayer is not my effort, the desire for prayer and the pride behind this gift is not mine...


To have a heart that looks at others and longs to bless them, i will only have that heart when i see lives through the eyes of Jesus and feel for each one of them through the heart of Jesus...


To be transformed to be like Christ, then will prayers flow out of my life, not my effort but the desire of the One who wills me, the One whom i call God, Lord and Master of my Life...


God i am yours, may i become more and more Christlike...


That's wat i have been praying for, more of you and less of me...


To be overwhelmed by the fact that i belong to Christ and only in Him can and will i exist...

In Christ alone.

REST...

I went to Settlers' Cafe with this group of brothers just the other day....it was really enjoyable....a time of fun and games. Tis been a long long time since i last had so much fun and fellowship with people other than the normal clique aka Jane and Yimin...

I love these group of brothers because they are very unique...they are not the kind of people who always draw attention to themselves, more often than not, they stay in the background and listen. Therefore all the more i appreciate them, because it is these pple who gives others a chance to shine, who give others the room to be loud....adorable brothers...all Danny's favourites.

This holiday has been great...a great time of rest and comtemplation regarding my last sem in Uni. A time to myself, to indulge in books and grow...like the rainbow after the storm, it is the rest after my tiring sem, the break prior to another battle...

I love this holiday....i remembered times when i dreaded holidays coz they turned out to be more busy than school term but this time round, holiday is quiet.

A Time of Stillness

Thank you God...

reflecting...

I love this semester that went by....Anna asked me if this is the best sem...

NOw looking back, it is one of the best - my first sem of my 1st year and the first sem of my 4th year...so far the semesters that i learnt the most.

In this sem...i found love and rest, joy and fun in 3 places...

1) My Family

2) Among my uni mates- my social work classmates

3) My Cell Group

Silly peoplez...love you all..

A Day Of Rest

On every Continent, in every Nation, God is at wok in and through the lives of believers. From the streets of Amsterdam to remote Pacific Islands to the jungles of Ecuador and beyond, each international adventure that emerges is a dramatic episode that could be directed only by the hand of God...

Hebrews 12:1-2

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I am so encouraged by the testimony by Dan Baumann, a YWAM (Youth With A Mission) worker, in his book,' Imprisoned In Iran'.

The main thing that struck me was his sensitivity to the voice of the Lord and the Might of Our Lord God Almighty...

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I dunno how to describe what i'm feeling right..blessed by his writing...just super encouraged...

Planned for a day of rest...physically, mentally and emotionally. Amazing how the Lord has just filled me so much so that i am not hungry even after not eating for the whole day...(not fasting but i just decided not to eat and only take liquid drinks)....Amazing how he has spoken through this book and helped me (who is ADHD, or so they claimed) to stay in my room the whole day and just read.....amazing how he just gave me the rest that i needed, time and solitude...

My God is just amazing....

so amazing...

JOY AND REST

My beautiful is awaiting more order and cleaning up!!!! i love cleaning up and tidying my room, i love packing my drawers, clothes, files etc!
I am going to have so much time RESTING and enjoying myself in my self-contained room!!!

This is my reward for studying hard this sem and encouragement to continue with my thesis and my shoes for metamorphosis (my first and last time going as a student!) camp!!! So exciting!!!

Look!!! My bed is beckoning me to slump into it and literally rot!!!!! Ahhhh!!!! What Joy and Comfort and Sweet Sweet Rest!


I am thoroughly overjoyed!.....The Rainbow after the torrendous storm.....


Or the calm before the storm...transiting from a crazy sem which wept up my strength and energy to another sem (storm) that requires MORE faith....i am tiptoeing to my honours thesis....going to frighten it instead of allowing it to shock me...i will be prepared to sneak on it....


YEAH....wateva it is, my exams are going to be over in a few hours' time!!!


THANK YOU GOD!!!!

Weak

I haven felt so beaten, tired, wearied and ill-equipped for 3 semesters...

I haven felt so inadequate in social work for so long...

I haven had so little confidence for so long...

But this semester, i felt like i dun have the energy to run in this social work race anymore...

I felt like i dunno y i am taking this exams...

I felt so handicapped...

I felt so aimless...

And i am still feeling this way...


Ephesians 3

14For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,
15from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name,
16that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,
17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
19and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

20Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,
21to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

Not 'doing' but 'being'

I want to write this down while the thots are still in my mind. It is not an attempt to write poem coz i simply can't... but thots, segments of thots that just consumed me after i did my QT. He made me realise how wrong i have been and how it should never be by my own effort nor policed by my flesh.

______________________________

I dun want to do good in this life

In fact i never knew right from wrong

You made me in your image

You gave me a conscience

But i am so blinded by sin

So insensitive to your voice

I dun want to be good in this life

I only want to please you

I dunno right from wrong

Until Your Word is revealed

But I only want your presence

I only seek your acknowledgement

I never plan to do good in this life

I only want to remain in you

But when i abide in you

I end up blessing others

I end up blessing myself

I end up blessing Your Name

I never plan to be good in this life

not an act under the Law

Just purely Abiding in You

With a life led by the Spirit

With a life in Your Presence

With a life consumed by Your Love

Character moulding, i need discipline and self control!

Studying for SW4102 paper...and learnt something...

Was very slack and i just can't bring myself to study this mod coz it is so boring and distasteful...by right, logically speaking, when a person is left with only one two hours before sleeping time, he/she should be studying harder but i think the less prepared a person is, the more she needs to quieten down before God and realign herself. Instead of striving more when lacking in wateva area, the NASB bible said, 'Cease Striving (Be Still) and know that I am God' -Psalm 46:10 Indulge and enjoy the presence of the Lord for it is GOOD!

That's what i did and it was amazing just stopping, thinking about life and where i am heading after graduation. Danny said i will definitely go into full time, just a matter of time....i kinda agree...i think i will and i think It is quite clear tt i will at least at this point in time. But i want to gain experience in the world and learn first before returning to serve full time.

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Anyway, i was encouraged by Galatians 5 tonight...

13For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

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19Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, 21envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Am i still practising all these in my life?

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

How i yearn for these!

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But how?

16But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.

24Now those who belong to Christ Jesus (I am one belonging to Christ, a sense of belonging!) have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

Through the love and faith given by my Lord Father through His Son Jesus, in through and by the Holy Spirit...

Begone, my own strength for my Father's strength supercedes mine! Not through the law but through freedom in Jesus...




I am so blessed to know the source of power, strength, faith, love, peace, will, and all the good things belonging to heavenly realm, to Eternity :)




Learning to....

Abide in Him, Live by the Spirit, Walk by the Spirit!

A DAy of GraCE!

They looked so silly but happieeee!

Garden Girl, Field Fille & No EyeBrow! (respectively)

Their Sunshine smiles brightened up my day... :)

She looked so pretty in all postures!!!ooohhh...

Finished another paper...3 down and 2 more to go! 3 CHEERS!***

Thank God....today is a day of Grace not for someone worthy, but rendered to one as undeserving as me!!!

Din prepare much for this paper thus i was ultra jittery last nite...1 set of reading for Satir, 1 summary by Tim Sim for Structural Family Therapy, 2 sets of notes for Bowen (which i forgot everything and was not planning to use) and lecture notes for the first 2...

That's all i had.

I prayed and told God i dun deserve to have good grades coz i spent my time thrashing out some issues for the past 2 days and totally neglected my preparation for exams....well, a Christian should strive to play our role well but i din....

All i had were guilt, fear, anxiety, apprehension and a flustered heart.


And all i needed was Grace and Mercy from the Lord Father, that i have failed so badly with my role as a student and i needed Him so badly...so so so badly...

***

And He answered my prayer. I did on Satir for both Questions 2 and 3. It was amazing. He guided and blessed; and as for me, i only received...

like always.

Thank You God for being so nice to me, though i dun deserve ANYTHING...
but you, you gave me EVERYHING through Jesus...

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Had a great lunch with those peepz on top and others...lovely dear friends and pig.

Had a great time with the leaders just sharing and praying at Grace's house, thinking and planning. It was good coming before God together.

The Whole Day Is Good.

*Thanks Father*

My Wish List

1. A $65 Love Offering to take up a Lay Training Programme - Introduction to New Testament at TTC or another course at SBC (3 months from Jan onwards)
2. A bag from my favourite shop (forgot the name! A Beautiful Life?) at Takasimaya...ooohh i love it!
3. A pair of dark coloured crocs, either brown or this colour, with double straps (not the Macdonald-looking ones...)
4. A water bottle 500ml
5. A new wallet, my poor wallet is destroyed by i dunno wat....
6. A NLT bible (or anything other than NASB, NIV, NKJV, KJV) for next year's bible reading in a year...
7. A sporty looking watch!!!

Dreaming...i'm dreaming....