Sorry Abba Father...

Sin crouches at my door...

my adversary prowls around like a roaring lion...


time to time...


i fell prey to it...


but the Lord is good...He brought me back to my feet


He reminded me that we are not called for impurity but for holiness...


to learn to live quietly and to mind my own business...


to guard my steps when i go to the house of God...


"do not be rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth".


i need to repent...to change...to guard my peace...

i need to have a life transformation...

i am comfortable with self, too comfortable for my own good...

i forgot to obey God.

I've sinned.

But yet again i will rise.

No guilt trick, i am covered by the Blood of the Lamb.


Thank you Jesus.

near

Ecclesiastes 5:1
[ Stand in Awe of God ] Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.

Psalm 84:3
Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young— a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Hebrews 10:22
let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

James 4:8
Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Near...

i want to be so Near...so near...to You and Your Heart...

lingering...sweet comfort...presence of the Lord

It was really different...life with God is so different...

many of us complain and ask why He demand this and that....so much attention to be placed on Him...praises for Him...

but they din realise that at the end of the day, when we draw near to God, we benefit the most...

i am very sick...throat inflammation, flu, headache etc...

normally i would cry for attention...i would want and hanker after love and emotional support, i would feel alone, i would feel that i need care and concern...

but this time round, things are different.

in my two hours with Him, i experienced comfort and overwhelming joy, like my God is right here with me and that love extended was beyond what man can offer...

it reached into the heart, it touched the innermost...

it was gentle, it was wholesome, it was just beyond human vocabulary...

it was amazing.


and because He lives, i can fear tomorrow, because He lives, all fears are gone.


fear of rejection? fear of loneliness? fears all countered by love...perfect love drives out fear...


i am not alone, Love a.k.a God, He who reigns on high, holds me in His arms and carry me through this last lap of my uni life....

what sweet comfort...

set an example even though you are young...

Today,

i am encouraged.

i noe for sure that my love for your church is no less than any other.

do not let anyone belittle me because i am young,

i am called for great things in this place.

what was placed in my heart is not from me.

i have a place in this church because i am called by my Lord Almighty.

i am broken,
i am weak,
i am unworthy,
i have a bad history,
i am like grasshopper,
i am nothing.


But when i am used by the One greater than All,


i become whole,
i become strong,
i am given my worth,
the years eaten by the locusts will be returned many folds,
i am a giant with You,
i become everything You want me to be.



What is fear? let me move on courageously as your foot soldier now until you raise my ranks...what fear shall i have...



but the fear of the Lord who beckons my every step.

i love this song

WE STAND HERE TOGETHER

AS A FAMILY

WE JOIN HANDS TOGETHER

LIFTING PRAISES TO THE FATHER ABOVE

FOR SENDING HIS SON

WE CHOSE HIM TOGETHER,

AS A FAMILY

TO SERVE HIM FOREVER

KNOWING NOTHING ELSE WILL MATTER IN TIME

WE'VE MADE UP OUR MIND

WE WILL SERVE THE LORD

We will serve Him

We will serve Him

We will serve him for He is worthy (x2)

THROUGH THE HEAT OF THE DAY,

WE WILL JOIN IN THE FIGHT

TILL HE TAKES US AWAY,

TILL OUR FAITH BECOMES SIGHT

AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE,

We will serve the lord

till our faith becomes sight...serve...let me into Your Heart, Father...

that i will serve in the center of Your Will.

i need Your comfort...

i want badly to be in Your arms...and hearing your heartbeat...

i will to be in the center of Your will... i need to be...

Show me the way...Light up my life and path...

random blabbering

What is logic?

It is man's understanding of wisdom...

That's y many things are beyond logic...

because God's wisdom is beyond man's understanding...

the foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of man...





i want to live believing in things that requires more than logic...


i believe in the God of my faith...

hoping in things to come, believing in what i cannot see...



is it logical to want to broken....?


i want so badly to be broken daily before Him...



there where i am broken, i will be exalted...



there where there is shame from the world,




there where i will be glorified....



a radical faith....


an Original God.



i believe....

last lap

i am officially cocooning...

undisturbed...

....i need to go at my own pace....

...the last exams of my uni life....


run the race well...


....the beginning and the end....


...all have to be well covered...



jiayou jiayou!

i will yet again praise you...

John 21

21When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?"

22Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."


What is that to me? What is all that to me? Always comparing, always grumbling, always complaining...

Job 40

1 The LORD said to Job:

2 "Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!"

3 Then Job answered the LORD :

4 "I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.

5 I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more."

6 Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm:

7 "Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

Who are you? Did I ask much from you? wasn't I the one who gave you strength? did I seek my own will in the garden of Gethsemane? haven i walk on this earth for you, carrying the burdens and the sorrows on earth? remember the cross?



I'm sorry Lord...

Blessed by Thy Holy Name!

loving at my loved ones

just random pictures in my folders....these are my blockmates this sem
...stupId peopLe...and stupid me...haha

today, i said nothing but sorry and help!

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We are UTTERLY sorry. We NEED You...!

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grace...grace....GRACE

i got my results for a module called cybercrime...this test comprised 50% of my grades for this entire semester...

i remember telling my friends that i have never taken a test like this before....seriously i've never attempted what i did before and i was never so desperate....

it was a 50 questions mcq paper...for each question i had 0.25 probability of getting the answer correct.

out of the 50 questions i was only sure of the answer for 3 questions...as for the rest i just did what my heart told me to do, shade the answer i feel best about and most at peace with.

i never felt more exhausted in an mcq test but that day i truly was exhausted...not from working answers but from the immense cries of the heart.

i pRayed through the paPer...intensely. i was just screaming for Grace...i need it! there is no way i can pass the exams...no way...how?

and i was telling Him....if he can save me from the multitude of sins, if he can deliver me from the fires of hell, if he can grant me a mentor, if he can miraculous bring me social work...etc etc

i was recounting all the miracles that took place in my life, the signs, the grace, the gifts, the pleasant surprises....

and telling him i need all that in my paper coz i really really have nothing...nothing...i really really have nothing left...no more strength for the week, no more brain cells, i am near the end of my wits literally...

and He provided.

i got 33 for my cybercrime paper.

Not exactly fantastic but it is ridiculously amazing for me...0.25 probability, only 3 confirmed answers which might be wrong...33 correct answers...nothing but pRayers throughout the test...no brain juice only by and through the peace of God...not deserving...definitely not...


1 to 2 divine, surprising and amazing encounters each week....how can i finish testifying tis life of grace from a Father who loves me these much and is so intimately involved in this broken and undeserving life....




but Him i will testify...how is it possible? but all things are possible

Because He is ALIVE and HE CARES FOR US SOOOOOooooo MUCH....

like how he provided a blank check out of nowhere to pay for the deposit for my trip to Israel...when i was meant to leave the meeting....when i was allowed to say....when someone suddenly felt that she has to bring a blank check....an obedience on her part and grace by the Father... he provided just before i stepped out without being able to register...
Grace when the money that dearie set aside for France can be lent to me because the inter school trip is cancelled....how is all these possible? for dearie to suddenly see money coming into his pocket or available....this calls for one thing

HALLELUJAH....PRAISE THE LORD....!

truly from the bottom of my heart....

my two copper coins

Luke 21

The Widow's Offering

1As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 3"I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."


I may have much lesser time compared to the rest...
i may be very tired...
i may have lost my adrenaline...
i may not be in the best state of being...
i may not be in the best condition...


but i will yet again rise up and say,

'Father, take my broken life and contrite heart...'

this is my offering unto you...

my two copper coins...

the only thing left in me is my time and life...

and they are yours.

I love you.

lord, lord, lord....

chicken wings...

for me and my friends...

a handphone accessory....

a short walk around the school....

a drive down from the East...

ya...it may mean one hour less for sleeping...

but i'm thankful...

because i am just so drained and tired...

calls for more love....

thank you Father....





it was apt...just when my tears fall because i am so tired....





you sent angels to bless me.





was it that i was going at a slower pace when i do essay?
i think it is actually coz i am no longer capable of working fast...
tonight i realised how worn out i am...
how drained and tired...






exhausted.

jiayou dearie

You waited for me to grow up...
You tolerated my tantrums...

Now i wait for you...

Love never fails...

entry...

Mark 15

37With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.
38The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. 39And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "Surely this man was the Son of God!"

Hebrew 10

19Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus,
20by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body,
21and since we have a great priest over the house of God,
22let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Have we forgotten our status, identity, authority, heritage, that we can gain entry into fellowship and communion with the Lord Most High?

May my heart never forget...always feel and always know...

that i am 100% physical and spiritual being...

because of how He has created me...how He fashions our relationship...

let my spiritual man commune with God...

Thank you to the Great I Am

Was supposed to be drafting out my essay by today but am feeling lethargic...

for a few days, i thot i was going to burn out...

but the Lord who is mighty to save has restored me and given me sufficient and overflowing grace...

At the thot of Him calling me to be part of the Joshua Generation,
His heart beckoning me to Israel...
His assurance and confirmation along the way...
the journey of Faith that He is setting me on...
the Peace that is so still...

I am sooo rejuvenated and refreshed..as a tree planted beside living water, as a house built on a rock..when i remember and recount the blessing of the Lord in my life...

i noe the source of my strength comes from the Lord for i have nothing left...no more strength...but the Lord's...

i did not study yesterday...i rested for fear that any more burden would cause bitterness to take root...would make me like the Israelites who walked through the desert and grumbled against the Lord...how i want to be like Moses instead...leading the rest into the presence and will and heart of the Father...to Him...to You Lord...

yesterday, i asked my love, Danny, to join me in my prayer time. I was not ready to intercede alongside with him, we prayed separately beside each other...

it was awkward, like a very deep and innermost part of me was bared before another human being...someone other than my Holy and Sovereign Lord...

Dearie shared that we are at different seasons in our lives...yup, i agree...not yet, not time yet...slowly but surely, the Lord will help us to walk and jog and run in pace for His Mighty Name in His Awesome Kingdom...

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

SING WITH ME

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

ALL WILL SEE HOW GREAT

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

Thank you...You noe my heart...

Thank you GOD...

Thank you...

I, Your Own, love You, My All...

not ready

Joshua 5

The Fall of Jericho 13 Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, "Are you for us or for our enemies?" 14 "Neither," he replied, "but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come." Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, "What message does my Lord have for his servant?" 15 The commander of the LORD's army replied, "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy." And Joshua did so.

Joshua 6

20 When the trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the people gave a loud shout, the wall collapsed; so every man charged straight in, and they took the city. 21 They devoted the city to the LORD and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it—men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys.

Joshua 7

1 But the Israelites acted unfaithfully in regard to the devoted things ; Achan son of Carmi, the son of Zimri, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of them. So the LORD's anger burned against Israel.






Who says the first victory guarantees all future inheritance...?

It is obedience....

And today...SIN showed itself croaching at the door...more so, it seemed to have infiltrated the ranks in the army...the Lord will not fight if the hidden sin is not uncovered...if that which should be devoted to the fire is retained...He will not be pleased....











You are ready! But we are not.................HELP!