Silenced...
So yesterday I spent 2 hours before the Lord praying for my future directions…asking God to help me find time to do things that I really enjoy doing…
and I told him to encounter me and to show me the path ahead….
He might grant me the desires of my heart…
to stay as a normal teacher with no stakes…maybe a relief teacher on no-pay leave at Danny's school…
Having time for cell group and prayer meeting….not having to fear not having enough time with kids since I spent the afternoon with them with half day relief schedule so that I can serve at night…
Committing my desires to the Lord, I sought Him for an answer.
But it came almost immediately. His reply.
and I told him to encounter me and to show me the path ahead….
dreaming that …perhaps…perhaps…
He might grant me the desires of my heart…
to stay as a normal teacher with no stakes…maybe a relief teacher on no-pay leave at Danny's school…
Having time for cell group and prayer meeting….not having to fear not having enough time with kids since I spent the afternoon with them with half day relief schedule so that I can serve at night…
How exciting…
Committing my desires to the Lord, I sought Him for an answer.
But it came almost immediately. His reply.
And leaves Danny and I laughing. Heh….our Lord has a sense of humour and He sure knows how to target the weak area to get me to succumb…
Yeah so I lost. And put all things on hold again.
Danny was watching me…consoling me that it is natural to dread returning to school after PSLE marking…
Then before I went to sleep, he said, "Mum was wondering whether she should retire next year and take care of the children since your mom is complaining about how she dun wanna take care of the children…she said if we are not paying her well then she might get another job outside if she stops selling food at the canteen…."
He sent my world into a whirlwind….no way…
I started laughing….as though the world has collapsed on me and darkness has engulfed me….tsk…
He din understand until I explained,
If mum stays at home, there's no way I can stay home…how then can I go on no-pay??? The only reason that would keep me from wanting to stay at home is being with my mil…the lady that the Lord is constantly using to mould me to become a better person…
Wow Lord… Amazing way to dash my dreams and to keep me in my job…
*Applause* to the Lord!!! The God who strategically answers my prayer and left me at a place where I don't need to negotiate anymore…
PRAISE THE LORD :)
You are my God.
You win.
posted by shoeee @ 9:54 PM
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