A Lesson Today

2 Corinthians 5:17 (New American Standard Bible)

17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

2 Corinthians 7:9-11a (New American Standard Bible)

9I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us.

10For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.

11aFor behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong!

Read this and felt really comforted...that God never gave up on me...

Another Season

I was stumped by a need to grow up.

Seems like it is time i grow up.

Growing up can mean lesser opportunity to demand for love and attention.

Growing up means learning to give love and attention.

Growing up demands responsibility

I was never ready for it.

I have not grown up.

Yet these days, i noe all so clearly,

It is time Shuyi grows up or learn to do so.

Time to shelter instead of expecting to be sheltered.

Time to care and give instead of expecting to receive.

Time to be dependable instead of being dependent.

Time to own up to mistakes instead of attributing it all to youthful follies.

I hope i will be like my mum,

that i may learn to love and give, to cherish and protect, to desire with patience and wisdom.

It is time to be an adult christian, not simply mere infants desiring milk, it is time for solid food.

I am so relunctant but something tells me it is time.

i want to sleep. Rest is a blessing.

i can't sleep...it is going to be 6 and i can't sleep....so much for resting before taking exams...

i reckon i will sleep after 3pm....

After this paper....

I dun think i will be a social worker.

I dun think i will drop thesis.

i dun think i should entertain any more serious conversations during exams.

Tis not funny to discover the lump growing so big after a night battling insomnia.

Not when my health is at stake.

These are my conclusions from my sleepless nite.

Death knocking on the door...

Was really tired by the time i came back from airport...

Heard a terrible news that my grand aunt is in a critical condition and that she may pass away anytime...

She was my deceased grandma's best friend.


Dad and Mum are rushing down now to see her for the last time.


Initially, i din think much about it....it just felt like 'Tis happening again....exam time again."

Then i struggled...'is she a christian?

If she is not, then shouldn't go and tell her about Jesus?'

'But i have exams and there is no way i can finish my preparations if i go....no way...coz i am already stressed out trying to browse thru everything...'


'But this, it is for eternity, will you give up your grades for the eternity of someone else?'

'Will You? Will I?'

'No, i can't do much...' i rationalised.


And then i said, 'Do ya want me to go?'


There was a pause and mum asked if i really wanna go? Then dad said there was no space...there was a sense of relief but not peace, and then mum said,



'She has become a christian.'


And you can never imagine the sense and flood of comfort i experienced...that was all that matter...that she is eternally saved and returning to the bosom of the Lord.



And for me, it was a test. Not scoring an 'A' for my readiness to share this gospel to those around me at the expense of myself, my career etc...


But it was a small step of faith when i popped the question.



It was a wrestle and an opportunity for introspection.


I told mum, 'Then it is ok, because if she is a non christian, then before she passes off, i need to tell her about Jesus. But Thank God, she is returning home.'



I wonder if mum knew wat i meant, but i noe she will, in due time she will.



Thank you God for this experience.




Another person you are removing and bringing home, another soujourner brought home to the Father.

Eternity in the presence of the Lord outweighs all. Have i realised that enough to move to action?

Silent Night

I am tired.

Come to me, all who are weary and I will give you rest.

Studying hard

Saw him when we drove out to fetch Gerard...

We were wondering if this fellow is driving Harley Davidson...

he is an ang moh...look quite cute from the back view... haha...

Sok Hiang looking tired...

Gerard, my flowery pig, looking serious... like real! :P

This spider looks like she hasn't sleep for days!

My man of wisdom, Mr Hansel, memorising the whole day, i would go crazy if i were him loh...

Tiring day...I've been a good girl today....

Studying with my school mates...


A spider, a flowery pig, an eeyore fan, and a man of wisdom...

was great fun though....


love them, silly people...

Father, may you bless us...and watch over us...

Thank you Lord for everything today...

"This is the day that the Lord has made!"

Be Still

I've been thinking so much lately...

Just read his blog again today and i just could not fathom how a person can be so extreme...

He claimed that the Spirit of God is within him, granting him knowledge and wisdom, illuminating his path and that all those prophets in Singapore are fake, that some denominations in Singapore are wayward...and he has friends with him on his side....


And i just couldn't fathom...


Just strong words and claims to be in the Spirit, are all the churches wrong in some matter or is my brother mistaken?



Walking in the Spirit...what exactly is that? What exactly is that?


How do i walk in the Spirit without shaming his name and being SINCERLY WRONG?



i only sought and seek to be a Christian.
And that is sufficient.




And only the Father can lead me to the right path.


And He dun fail His saints....


I am His.


"Ask and it shall be given, Seek and ye shall find, Knock and the door shall be opened unto you."




Father, i am knocking persistently. Open your door of wisdom and transformation to me!



Or is it already opened?



I am not satisfied, i am hungering for more....


What is stopping me?


You want me to grow more than i want myself to grow....


What is stopping me?



Let it flow, let it overflow, let it consume me... totally.

Dun strive,

"Cease striving and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 NASB

Waiting on the Lord and in the presence of Him, i will grow. Be still.

resting my brain!!!

My daddy is so so SOOO MAN!!!!
My Mummy is so so sOOOO ADORABLE!!!
CHeeky me and DAnny on a hot DATE!
Janie's bro looks so SILLY!!! Hahaha!!!

Just playing with my phone pix! HAHA!!!

Medicine Module with S/U Option!

Another night of disturbed 4 hours sleep....

Insomnia....haunting me again...


The growths that landed me in hospital....


Haunting me again...


How i hate breadth module...how i abhor memorising as a method of studying....how i detest and reject these things in my life!



Psychosomatic reactions..... Again.




Yes, i am ultra stressed for i really can't memorise those terms, those medical terms for nuts...




God, help me!

Honours Thesis

Thesis....is my decision regarding thesis within your plan?


Do i back out because my friend back out?


Should i do it?



Y is it a hard decision?



Beause i want to noe if i back out out of fear or simply because i lost interest...



My interest is still here....I dun mind doing thesis...


but i want my time during the holidays...



That's all.



Because this is the time before i grad and i wanna make the best out of it.


Not to score in exams, in fact that is the last on the list. And my thesis grades dun matter.


I just dun want to miss out on anything simply because i wanna study or prepare a thesis for the sake of it.


If thesis test my fatih i will do it. IF thesis challenges me, i will face it.


But i would rather use my time on equipping myself even if it means only one holiday....i would use the last holiday of my schooling life to grow, to enjoy, not to be doing something for the sake of it....


I would enjoy if my friend is doing alongside with me.
I wouldn't mind but i might mind actually....


What is thesis to me....something i dun mind doing but the first that i will give up if it interferes with my time for growth....unless writing thesis is a preparatory process to transit into the working world, i will not do it, i will drop it.



Does my thesis still serves its function of testing and stretching my faith?


Or a stumbling block to greater learning and growth?



What channel should i use and what method should i subscribe to at this point in time?




I think i will enjoy my thesis. Really.



But i want my holidays.




How to negotiate?

Gasp!

Apostasy:

Turning away from God while remaining religious.

Sounds scary...sounds like me sometimes...

Paul in Acts

Paul became a prisoner for years...not months but years of his life, and even as a prisoner, he sought to live and speak of Christ.

We all hope to be of someone to GOd and Man.

But from the life of Paul, i realised that we are not called to any profession as a destination in life,

Instead, we are merely called to live out christian lives in whichever place the Lord calls us to, with whatever profession he gives us and in all situations.


Merely called to be a christian, elected to serve the Almighty God.

We dun have to become anyone or to assert ourselves and our identity,


In Christ we will find everything.


He is our destination,
In Him is our calling, our identity, our place, our status and us.



Not what we have achieved or attained for ourselves,


But what He has freely given and is still giving.


Praise be to the Lord GOd Almighty.

The Silent Night and the Speaking Child

It has been such a long time since i met You in the night...roused and awaken to pray and to seek You...it has been a long time since i paused to think about 'what now?" and 'Where to go from here?" It has been a long time since i faced sleepless nights because i am dreaming intensely...It has been a long time since i realised the comfort of meeting You in the night again...

Like the meeting time i have with my lover, in the silence of the night we meet....in the stillness and quietness, you stirred my soul....you called me to dream, to think, to reflect, to seek, to cry, to pray, to tell you all about me...

I have given up the meeting because i can't sleep, i'm tired...but u are stirring me up once again...the things i wanna do for you...the things you called me to do for you time and again....forgotten and awaken....lost but found again...

In the midst of preparation for exams, at the last lap for this sem, you showed me that it doesn't matter...that all things fade in the shadow of your light....your eternal work take precedence....that my future hinges not on my grades....that you alone are calling me and that is all that matters- All that matters. TO be called by the Lord God Almighty to do your Work.

What to do now Lord? To be faithful to my duties on this earth and to continue awaiting you...is that right? When will You call me to action? Are you not calling me to action now? Are you not bringing me back to what i used to dream to do for you?

The ministry that cannot be spoken as yet but so deep within my heart...

Beyond anything else, not that i had gifts, but because you place it like a seed within me...and it is blossoming and beckoning me...

How long do i have to wait? When is it time to do something?



Father Lord, am i dreaming right?



Into your hands i commit,
your prayerless child.

REstless

I just can't seem to settle down and work on my thesis or my school work....

I dunno how to describe wat i'm feeling...

A fear that i am taking charge of my life....

i dun wan that.

I refuse that.


IT is so 'shuyi' to want and to steal His Glory.

Give it up....how?


Lord, take it away....remove me....remove me....remove me....


May You Reign, May You Reign....May You Reign...




More of You and Less of Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Please Save me from this world!!!!!!!!!!



MOre of You...MOre OF you....MOre Of You!



In the NAme of the Almighty Lord Jesus, AMen.


Hear me out...

Looking back...

It has been really hectic and fast-paced.

A lot has happened not just in school but also in church and in cell group....

Before i know it, time has been lost and events became a thing of the past....

It is time for hurts to be healed and scars to disappear....

He has brought so much pain for the past months and i wonder y God put me thru all these in this year....y place me as a cell leader to go thru all of these....

But He did and i grew tremedously, no one said the puning process is easy but no one told me it was this hard...

Great is the hand of the Lord who has sustained me and given me a new lease of life and more strength to continue the path...

Praise be to the Lord God Almighty who never gives up even on the worst in the house.

The pilgrims on this journey to the narrow door of heaven are each given a unique path....mine being unique as well....specially carved out for me...

And all i long for these days is to become what i am made to be....to be....not to do...but firstly to become....


to give up and surrender all that i am only to be changed by the Lord God Almighty who makes me a new creation and helps me to overcome temptation...

Time and again, i fall prey to the clutches of sins but He reminded me that HE loves me all the same and never did he give up on me....

It was in love that he laid down the master plan for salvation, it was in love that He gave His one and only Son for me...

Abraham did not have to give up Isaac to please God but God gave Jesus to died in my place....

It was all in Love...many a times, we made it a law again, to use the law on others to mandate them to do things under the law, but it was all in love and by the strength of Christ and out of the compassion and grace of Christ can we stand before GOd today, not to be working out salvation under the law but to do all things for the sake of loving our Lord, God, Saviour and FRiend.

In the name of the Worthy did we do all things, did we become who we are, did we stand against the trials in this world...All in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ who intercedes for me before the Father, who covered me with rigtheousness by dying on the cross for me , by the blood of the blameless LAmb, once and for all.

Praise be to the Lord God Almighty.

Transform me for your name's sake....to be a Christian, one belonging to Christ, uniquely made to testify for Him.


Praise the Lord.