balance BALANCE!

Life has been busy since the time i prayed for God to stretch me...

Constantly feeling the pressure to work on my honours thesis and my stacks of readings...but yet so strongly reminded at the same time that i should never allow the stress of school work overshadow the other areas of my life...

God sees my family, my cell group, my friends, and my personal time as important too...i cannot and shall not forget the intangible things in life though it is easier for me to observe the schedules and datelines.

Quite ironic, in the past sems, i strive to bring studies into my life but in this sem, i strive, instead, to decrease the tendancies to allocate my time to studying...

Things have been happening in cell and i am beginning my new ministry with church kids next week, sometimes i feel out of breath...i wish my dearie will be around...yet things were not easy on his side too...that's when we were forced to hand all over to God the Father...Good, dun think i can survive for long without Him..

Father, i want to live a balanced life for you, one that is so pleasing...a restful time in the midst of struggles, a heavenly season on earth...

Train me up this year for i fear my transition next year...in fact i fear what is ahead...

I can only hold on to you now.

Self awareness and being introspective is important.

False perception deceives...

Peace, i need God

Just went out for lunch with my tuition kid's mum....talked alot and thot alot...

Came home and reflected on my life, decided to give Rev. Fushun a call and was approached on several things...

God answers prayer...i told Him that this year will be a year of moulding be it in terms of my studies or in terms of ministry to make me a better child of His, before i transit into working life...

A year of apprehension and caution...hopefully i will not burn out or have too many breakdowns...a year of reflection so that i may give thanks constantly for all that is going on....

They are starting up a ministry for the youths who grew up in All Saints', they are thinking of bringing all the social workers together to help the families in church, another committee to reach out to the neighbourhood around All Saints', there is a major project coming up, and at the same time, i was asked if i want to consider a few other ministries...of which MM has been on my mind for many years...

But i noe, we all take a step at a time though many a times shoeee tends to take short sprints and tire herself out....but things are different now...i dun want to be the rash girl even though i want to be stretched for God so that even i grow older, i will continue to learn to enlarge my comfort zone...

I was reminded not to let the events and schedules and datelines of life overwhelm and control me. For the past 2 weeks, i have been so caught up with school that everything seemed less important but tis time i realise that there should be a balance...i need to manage my life with the help of God and i need to remain in God to manage this life....to be efficient but not hurried, to be involved but not burdened, to be in a situation yet trust - i need to noe that the Lord who holds my hand is GREATER than all things in the Universe, in creation.

I need to find myself in GOd, and in so doing, find the place for all things in life and find strength to manage the responsibilities entrusted to me, to noe how to lead a christian life.

To rest in His Control, to be in AWE of Him. To find Peace.

I need God.

school life

Tis been some time since i last updated my blog coz i started my journaling on paper again...

Think at the end of the day it is more therapeutic for me to write and a hassle to have to constantly log in here to blog...

Currently at school...been here for hours but has yet to settle down to study....prob coz the honours year workload is still leaving me with dread and the need to start working hard has yet to sink in though the stress level is high..

Am constantly reminding myself that it is not about getting good grades but more so about glorifying GOd in all that i do...not comparing myself with others and end up being like a grasshopper but learning to strive at my own pace...

Glorifying God...from time to time i want to strive to be good here and there but at the end of the day i lose my focus...the focus to be in the presence of the Lord God Almighty...to seek Him and His Kingdom and to need him more than bread, to thirst and hunger for Him more than anything else on this Earth, to let God be in control of this silly life of mine...

With that, i surrender my slackness to him and my nua-ness....time to go study and do my best...or at least do my part for the readings for Sw 4102...

Holiday Reflections

I finished volunteering at Simei Care Centre...really thank REv Luo and the centre for giving me the opportunity to grow from the entire experience and to run with them for this precious one month...really gained from serving there and i thank GOd for the lives that i met there. The staffs are wonderful and i like the working environment in this flat organisation- too bad it is a pyschology dominated area...not so much of social work. The clients there have touched my life with love and now after interacting with mental patients i realised that everyone is normal and everyone has times when we act up. We all deserved to be loved and respected, never stigmatised.

I thank GOd for the entire holiday, fruitful and blessed because in this holiday alot was shown to me, revealed by my big God. In the volunteering experience, i learnt about the use of time, experienced new things and interacted with different people. I learnt about my struggles when they resurfaced this holiday, i discovered about my stand for God in the midst of people who dun love GOd, i learn to love and appreciate the uniqueness of human character and personalities. In this holiday, i made my decision to take honours year, and eventually found peace that this decision is guided by my Lord GOd...to noe that this year is another year of preparation before i step and transit into the working world. Not so much about studying though i think the thesis year would really helped me to experience GOd's strength...haha...This year and sem will also allow me to try out MM afterall tis been something that has been nagging at me for the past 8 years...praise and worship for a music idiot like me...if tis really God's nudging..a time to start cell girls' sharing again, a time to build on my fellowship with the christian social workers in school and to bless others in our way.

Future directions has always been on my mind...what GOd is calling me to...yet a sense of peace has led me to realise that i just need to venture out and start working and i will noe, and i won't be wrong because the GOd who directs me has it all beautiful in the plan that He prepares for my life, uniquely carved out, uniquely prepared. There was a time when i struggled so much watching my friends joining campus crusade, navigators as staffs, watching those in BSF being called for missions, going thru career changes...everything about their lives seems so directed in full time ministry...and i felt small, like a grasshopper.... only to realise that i am uniquely made and no life is small in my Father's eyes for we are ALL CHERISHED. At least, i noe that GOd has put me through daily contact with my clients in the past 2 placements and 1 volunteering experience, something that i am more comfortable with, not just a 6 session casework context but doing everything, from arranging activites to teaching to counseling to working with families...a blurred picture now but the Lord will help me for i am shortsighted and i can't forsee the future, i am stupid but GOd uses the simple to shame the wise mah...My amazing GOd and His wisdom is superior to all...ahahaha

Thank you for this holiday that is ending soon... :)
I am blessed...thank you my ALmighty God...gee~ :)