***I want my Reality in Eternity...yes Lord?*

~I miss the Garden Days...I Need an Intense Longing for Your Spirit to Fill me,to Have the Bible as my Manual 4 Living... MORE than Anything else, to Meet You,Overwhelmed & In Awe...in Eden...In Communion & Fellowship...~

Monday, November 04, 2013

Towards 4 years...


2009….2010….2011….2012….2013….going to be 4 years since we got married and 9 years since we got attached…

We have learnt to connect from emotionally to spiritually and perhaps….physically…

But it is not all perfect…as to all things….


4 years of marriage…..it is evident even to Jane and perhaps others that the 2 of us dun communicate well…hehz…perhaps more than that.

Our Mental Modals apart from the spiritual aspects and theology are too vast apart and our families are too different from each other.

Our character? Sanguine Melancholic verses choleric phlegmatic….haha totally different.

Too much to say….yet no need to elaborate.

If not for God, it would be impossible for either party to survive and continue…


I am bad with communication and accountability…I made a decision spontaneously and I drag the world along selfishly to get what I want. I expect everyone to bow at my feet and fulfill my will.


You think about others and let them drag you alone and then you harbour deep hatred against them…almost the opposite…haha…if not when the A Type character appear, you seemingly give everyone a choice when you already have something in mind and all you wanted to give is your approval but you dun even want to go through the thinking process. The tug of war between the phlegmatic and choleric…whichever won that day.

We are both no better. The one who has many obvious sharp corners verses the one who has no idea the amount of secret pride and sin in his life. The one who loves dirt and wild verses the one who loves cleanliness and appreciates security. The one who likes to buy things to keep verses the one who spends on food…the one whose family are overly involved and afraid of inconveniencing verses the one are cant be bothered and uses others like a bottomless pit….well the one who is the youngest and most spoilt verses the one who is the eldest and takes up the most responsiblity….the one who likes to give up and loves changes verses the one who goes for the long haul and loves stability…and th elist just goes on...

But now, we are stuck together. For some reason.


That only God knows why and what we can become after we learn to iron things out and learn first and foremost to communicate.


The hardest word between human….resulting in things like politics etc.

The worst is:

We aren't even talking about the need to communicate.

Alas….tonight I'm consumed by darkness so let me hope again tomorrow…

Because of Jesus and the covenant made before God and men.


Because of the love that left me tonight.

Dear Jesus, please intervene.

We are good. We are just not communicating mentally.



And that kinda messed everything up.



I dunno at which it started…perhaps after I started work this year and had less time to think about the family….perhaps stress level was high and there was no time for interaction….



Oh whatever.


Please help, Lord.


In Jesus' name,

Amen.




*Please pray with me each time u read this*

1) That i may be broken before the Lord daily
2) That I may abide in Him and that He may abide in me
3) That the Peace of God may direct my steps daily
4) That the Joy of the Lord be the Light of my life
5) That the Love of the Lord will overflow out of me