NeeDs N 2005 reflecTionS
A holiday of rest...a holiday of fooling around...a holiday of freedom to deal with my time...
I realised near the end of it that this is not the way i wanna spend the rest of my life...
This entire year has been a great year of adaptation and rest. Adapting to life with Mr Koh as my boyfriend, adapting to life as a cell leader, feeling for the first time that i should be studying and enjoying the process and observing myself in various ministries, namely sunday school, choir and girls' brigade...experienced the working life for 3 months in Andrew and Grace Home and a year to consider if i wanna further study in social work degree...
I dunno how the future will be like for me but i think i'll have a rough idea if God wills it the way i planned it...i'll be getting my results later at 3pm...that will be a big deciding factor...i'm still considering whether i should execute my plan...still waiting for Your reply...with trembling and fear...and diarrhoea each time i get stressed and too caught up planning and worrying.
In this year, u have changed mum's mentality..she is willing to come to church with me each time there are performances and this time round she is bringing fifth aunt with her (24th dec christmas evangel.)...she is also open to the idea of learning how to cha1 hua1 from anyone who is willing to teach her...it is an opening door...i noe it is....in fact the door was already miraculously pried open when dad bought a christian book and mum actually enjoys it and asked for more books from the church library... A MirAcLE i hope and pray IS HAppEninG in my home..the very place where i find my closest pple...may the blessings of the
Lord overflow and truly touch mummy's heart....and daddy's too.
In this year, i learnt an invaluable lesson, so much so tt it became center of my life...a phrase, 'the bible is my manual for living'. This is crucial and i believe, a turning point for me..i used to fluctuate alot alot in my walk with U but this phrase taught me 'steadiness, 2 b steadfast'. Regardless of my emotions, i need to be steadfast...i soon realised that every word of the bible needs to be followed and acted out in this earthly life of mine, that all the "Jim Elliot, C.S. Lewis, etc..." are only reference books....tt i need to grow in your word daily...that your bible is not merely a reference book for life...it is the very manual for living...thank you for showing me this and CONVINCING me to go beyond mental understanding and emotive response to trying to act it out. This conviction of mine, this conviction tt comes from u...i hope i will nv ignore it as time passes...time to time, it dawned on us but in no time, i would lose sight of it...may this emphasis on your word nv nv leave me...
So much to learn, so much to grow in....so much of u tt i do not understand and cannot fathom....show it to me bit by bit, turn my knowledge of u into faithful deeds...into understandings that hit and impact me...simple truths, simple revelations yet profound to a mind soooo tainted by the world...i need u Lord..
I need u Lord, my family, my cell group, my ministries, my church, my country, my planet, they need u....they are all yours...all tt i claimed is mine...they are all yours...for i am yours...we need u...we are in you and created by you...reveal yourself to us...
In Jesus' most REVOLUTIONARY name i pray, Amen.
I realised near the end of it that this is not the way i wanna spend the rest of my life...
This entire year has been a great year of adaptation and rest. Adapting to life with Mr Koh as my boyfriend, adapting to life as a cell leader, feeling for the first time that i should be studying and enjoying the process and observing myself in various ministries, namely sunday school, choir and girls' brigade...experienced the working life for 3 months in Andrew and Grace Home and a year to consider if i wanna further study in social work degree...
I dunno how the future will be like for me but i think i'll have a rough idea if God wills it the way i planned it...i'll be getting my results later at 3pm...that will be a big deciding factor...i'm still considering whether i should execute my plan...still waiting for Your reply...with trembling and fear...and diarrhoea each time i get stressed and too caught up planning and worrying.
In this year, u have changed mum's mentality..she is willing to come to church with me each time there are performances and this time round she is bringing fifth aunt with her (24th dec christmas evangel.)...she is also open to the idea of learning how to cha1 hua1 from anyone who is willing to teach her...it is an opening door...i noe it is....in fact the door was already miraculously pried open when dad bought a christian book and mum actually enjoys it and asked for more books from the church library... A MirAcLE i hope and pray IS HAppEninG in my home..the very place where i find my closest pple...may the blessings of the
Lord overflow and truly touch mummy's heart....and daddy's too.
In this year, i learnt an invaluable lesson, so much so tt it became center of my life...a phrase, 'the bible is my manual for living'. This is crucial and i believe, a turning point for me..i used to fluctuate alot alot in my walk with U but this phrase taught me 'steadiness, 2 b steadfast'. Regardless of my emotions, i need to be steadfast...i soon realised that every word of the bible needs to be followed and acted out in this earthly life of mine, that all the "Jim Elliot, C.S. Lewis, etc..." are only reference books....tt i need to grow in your word daily...that your bible is not merely a reference book for life...it is the very manual for living...thank you for showing me this and CONVINCING me to go beyond mental understanding and emotive response to trying to act it out. This conviction of mine, this conviction tt comes from u...i hope i will nv ignore it as time passes...time to time, it dawned on us but in no time, i would lose sight of it...may this emphasis on your word nv nv leave me...
So much to learn, so much to grow in....so much of u tt i do not understand and cannot fathom....show it to me bit by bit, turn my knowledge of u into faithful deeds...into understandings that hit and impact me...simple truths, simple revelations yet profound to a mind soooo tainted by the world...i need u Lord..
I need u Lord, my family, my cell group, my ministries, my church, my country, my planet, they need u....they are all yours...all tt i claimed is mine...they are all yours...for i am yours...we need u...we are in you and created by you...reveal yourself to us...
In Jesus' most REVOLUTIONARY name i pray, Amen.
posted by shoeee @ 11:20 AM
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