FOCUS! n Courage to Change...

Father, Let me be weak that i might loose my clutch on everything temporal. My life, my reputation, my possessions, Lord,let me loose the tension of the grasping hand. Even, Father, would i lose the love of fondling. How often i have released a grasp only to retain wat i prized as 'harmless' longing, the fondling touch.
Rather, OPEN MY HAND TO RECEIVE THE NAIL OF CALVARY, as Christ was opened- that i releasing all, might be released, unleashed from all that binds me now.

-Jim Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty

Have been really caught up with exams...to spend quality time with u...i read your word every day yet i strayed so far from you again...engulfed in the routine of pharisee-tic actions...haiz...I found my thoughts straying and uncontrolled these days...my words r coarse and unseasoned...i live as though i never knew your Word and salvation..i live as though u were not sovereign and not worthy of my attention...a sinner's attention...wat blasphemy..

"Make me thy Fuel, Flame of God."
"Pray. That saint who advances on his knees never retreat."

I knew those words but i am not living them out...wat's the point of getting an A or B in exams, of looking gorgeous and pretty before people, of owning Danny if they caused me to lose the ultimate focus on you? All things that i do should be for u...i study for u...i present myself in a way that is accountable to my brothers for your sake...i love danny for u place him in my life now...we are not even married, how then can i conceive the idea of possessing him?

Yes...i strayed...i noe...i did...i wan to come back..

Look to me and speak to me...direct my paths...that i may give all up for u...no acting in front of people...yes i need alot of courage to face those ard me for i dunno how to tell them that i have transformed and i tried to be the same past Shuyi....i am ashamed of the change tt i pray for? Or have i no courage to take on the change? Do i fear losing those close to me?

Work in me, Father, Sovereign and Almighty...grant me courage and trust...everything i need...

Above all, a sharp and acute focus on you, to take charge of every thot and every action, and every word....help me to remember tt i need to be accountable to you at the end of the day...

Please Lord...



In Jesus' most COURAGEOUS name i pray, Amen.