forgiveness. Sorry.

Angry. Upset. Hurt. Disappointed. Tired....

Has been a long year...not an easy one.
Too much spotlight on the learning process...

verbal and non verbal cues that demostrated and reflected my failures
...passing comments tt smacked me in the face
...moments that left me wordless and unable to react.

Din noe how to respond and can't respond.
Have always been very extreme.
Dun wan anyone to use my past history to judge me again.
I have to be silent. I have to be careful. I have to be tactful.

These few days i cried alot, got angry with you, and myself, with the people around me and the ministry u gave to me. One of those thrashing periods in my journey with you. Alot of thoughts and alot of attacks.

I can't defend myself... because i did fail in many areas.

It was all wrong.
I was all wrong.
I am all wrong
but i will not be all wrong forever.

Because...

You love me...

I dun believe and never will believe that u will give up on me just like that.

I dun wan to test you nor abuse your attributes...
but i do noe that u are more forgiving and merciful than wat i can imagine...

You give and will give another chance.

All in love, nor mere cold judgements...in love...

That's y u prepared people who embrace me time and again, accept me time and again, and love me time and again.



This is not the first time i failed you or the people around me....

You have been faithful and loving till today
though i am unworthy

i need

another chance.

And love to help me with the disappointments and weariness.



Walk before me and show me the way.





I need a meek, humble and teachable heart.


In Jesus' name, Amen