Encountering God.

The Lord has been speaking...

He has not left me alone.

I WAS really depressed for some time.

Since my last visit to the gynae on Wednesday when I learnt some things about baby.

I WAS worried. VERY worried and ANXIOUS...

But since that night, the Lord has spoken louder than ever since the last time He foretold the coming of the baby till the confirmation...

He is speaking again....in ways where I cannot deny His presence and faithfulness.

In my darkest hour and time,

He rescues...He becomes the refuge, the Healer and the Saviour, He redeems me...

Abba Father, Lord Jesus, my faithful counsellor, the Holy Spirit.

Thank you.

November 10 (Wednesday) night - A story on the mourning mother whom Jesus took compassion on, He prayed over the Son and life returned to him, cried and prayed with Danny to God. Then the audible voice of God, presence of the Father till I fell asleep....finally

November 11 (Thursday) evening - at the ALTAR, Chitrani was not present, Aunty Ivy has to lock up the place. Prayed over me and Danny and laid hands on my womb, kept praying fervently over the health of baby. She prayed the resurrection life and power over baby, she kept calling forth life over baby...and I knew that the story I read the night before was from God. She told me not to worry, NOT TO LOOK AT THE SITUATION, not to speak of the negative and repeat it, as our Lord's words has power, so we who are created in His image has power in our words. She told us to call forth life, to prophesy (speak bible verses and sing songs of worship, pray) goodness and life over baby. And we were counseled and consoled.

Before we slept, we read this by Charles Spurgeon,

HOPE for the BARREN

"Sing, O barren!" Isaiah 54:1 NKJV

There are times when we feel very BARREN. Prayer is lifeless, love is cold, faith is weak; each grace in the GARDEN of our heart languishes and droops. In such a condition, what are we to do? I can sing of Jesus Christ. I can talk of visits which the Redeemer has paid to me. I can magnify the great love with which He loved His people with He came from the heights of heaven for their redemption. I will go to the cross again. Come, my soul, heavy-laden you once were and lost your burden there. Go to Calvary again. Perhaps that very cross which gave you LIFE might give you FRUITFULNESS. What is my barrenness? It is the platform for /his FRUIT-creating power. What is my desolation? It is the setting of sapphire of his everlasting love. I will go in poverty. I will go in helplessness, I will go in all my shame and backsliding; I will tell him that I am still His child, and in confidence in His faithful heart, I will sing and cry aloud. Sing, believer, for it will cheer your heart and the hearts of other desolate ones. Sing on, for now that you are really ashamed of being barren, YOU WILL BE FRUITFUL SOON; now that God makes you reluctant to be without fruit, He will soon cover you with clusters. THE EXPERIENCE OF OUR BARRENNESS IS PAINFUL. BUT THE LORD'S VISITATION ARE DELIGHTFUL (yes my beloved, indeed your name is eden meaning delightful...literally, now root word or variant as name???) . A sense of our own poverty drives us to Christ, and that is where we need to be, for in Him is our FRUIT found.

November 12 (Friday) night - Asked Danny about the lyrics of a Chinese worship song. In the middle of the night, wailing for Mummy. Ate like mad for the past 2 weeks but it did not work, so now I forced myself to sleep but each time my head hit the pillow, I had horrible tension headache. Mummy realised that I was overwhelmed with anxiety, didn't know I was THIS affected. Now I got to let go and let God. But how?

November 13 (Saturday) morning - Daily Bread led Danny to Psalm 139, I formed you in your mother's womb. Jiafeng typed the same verse. I asked for the tune of the song taken from the same psalm the night before. Danny prayed over me. It was God confirming the verses. Entered into a season fasting together with dearie. Both confessed our sins and worshipped for the first time in the living room in the presence of Dearie's mum. Our worship has moved into the open. Finally prompted to picked up my Lisa Bevere's chapter on Fasting again. The Lord spoke...revealing the lesson that He was teaching this end year.

2007 (Cambodia) - Hold your tongue, stop cursing and lusting

2008 (IHOP, USA) - Pain, childhood hurts, worldview of unfairness, healing

2009 - (Korean Prayer Mountain) Anxiety, generational and familiar spirit

2010 - (Singapore) Death

O and behold, no wonder I was sensing a presence in my room again, the same experience of something trying to enter into me and take control...

May the Lord gain victory yet again.

A season of desperate seeking has and will begin.