Transform me...

It was an enlightening morning...I struggled thru the nite about some youth zone issues...i nv got over them..i dun even noe wat got into me. I speak of yearning to become a woman of God yet i stumbled and fell so many times..Gentleness is so absent in my life and i have no idea how to be more gentle except to pray and ask You to grant it to me, to help me to change. Father, i dunno how to improve...there are lives tt i've seen transformed for you....wat about me? Will u transform me too? i am not satisfied, not satisfied with my faith nor with my heart condition....i dun wan to live a life like this, change me God...i wan to love you, i want to surrender to you, i want to live for you, i want to dream for you, i wan the bible to be truly a manual for living..I want to be changed and transformed for u...
Lord, i saw the change in dianne's life...it was beautiful...very beautiful...a life that seeks to be holy before you...waiting on you and listening to your voice and your call...that sensitivity to your voice, that patience and trust...tis beautiful, tis attractive...that closeness...
You called me to something rite? u gave me enough to accomplish that rite?
but wat is it? Am i called to be a social worker? wat am i called to? i've been seeking and seeking but i noe not of wat u call me to...how? wat do u wan me to do after i graduate? wat can i do to glorify you with wat i have?
Jim Elliot's life shows excellence....excellence and love and obedience and trust, etc etc...wat about me?
Forgive me Lord, Change me Lord, Use me Lord, Direct me Lord...Make me yours and help me never to conceive the thot of leaving you Lord, Preserve me Lord, have mercy on me Lord...
Obedience Lord...i need alot alot alot of obedience Father and trust and patience and faith...
Hear my prayer and let my Spirit thirst for you..Please Father..
In Jesus' transforming name i pray, Amen.