Vanities of Vanities!
Dear Lord,
I dun exactly noe how i'm feeling except that i'm tired of trying to please the people around me...tis one thing being cautious and tactful but another if i am actually trying to impress others....hmmm...went out with danny's family for dinner and was v tired when i came home...i think every time the entire family gathers together...it gets very texing...maybe becoz i dunno how to be myself around them yet and i am not sure if they will love me if i show the jumpy and bubbly side of me...but i am so tired of this mature and sweet image that i have in the family. I mean tis definitely not a reflection of who i am in reality and i feel very pent up trying to be someone that i assume others will accept...ultimately i guess the problem lies within myself....
Oh and tis because of this pent up feeling that i attributed to the dinner and me not being myself that causes me to think about how i dress recently....i think my dress sense changed for a moment and anyway i saw this bag that cost $24.90 and i am so in love with it but i noe that i just gotten a bag from jane and yingli for my 21th birthday and it dun make sense if i get another bag again....i mean....Father, talking about saving up and blessing the poor, i shouldn't be like buying more bags when i think i have more than 20 bags at home rite...though i dun use alot of them already...I am so vain and greedy and i wonder when did the change take place...i think i wasn't like this 2 years back...maybe because danny likes girls who dress up or rather he always praise me when i dress up (positive reinforcement), so i began to dress up and i began to even like dressing up and filling my cupboard with all sorts of clothings...there was a period of time when i actually like mature and gentle, conservative clothings but i think after my attachment...i see a change and now i really appreciate clothes that makes me feel younger, energised and bubbly....not forgetting the sweet image once in a while...haha...Father, i wonder if u will just remind me and internalise Ecclesiastes to me and tell that tis all vanities and all but vanities...hmmm..
Oh, Father, i pray for motivation to exercise and to really work out so that i can build up my health as well...i cannot slack anymore....shoeee!!!! all the way!!!! I was very tired out these few days...really need time to rest and hide in my room but at the same time, i really wish that i can go out and go wild and have fun because of this very strong pent up feeling...haiz....Father, guard my heart and my focus above all....tis a struggle to live in this world and to live in Singapore where i can easily take things for granted.....i feel that man gets distracted too easily and before i even noe it...there's so many times when i just lose my focus...forgive me and help me to make u the ultimate focus and cause for my walk on this earth...thank you for hearing my bimbotic prayer...
In Jesus' most Precious and Fashionable Name i Pray, Amen.
I dun exactly noe how i'm feeling except that i'm tired of trying to please the people around me...tis one thing being cautious and tactful but another if i am actually trying to impress others....hmmm...went out with danny's family for dinner and was v tired when i came home...i think every time the entire family gathers together...it gets very texing...maybe becoz i dunno how to be myself around them yet and i am not sure if they will love me if i show the jumpy and bubbly side of me...but i am so tired of this mature and sweet image that i have in the family. I mean tis definitely not a reflection of who i am in reality and i feel very pent up trying to be someone that i assume others will accept...ultimately i guess the problem lies within myself....
Oh and tis because of this pent up feeling that i attributed to the dinner and me not being myself that causes me to think about how i dress recently....i think my dress sense changed for a moment and anyway i saw this bag that cost $24.90 and i am so in love with it but i noe that i just gotten a bag from jane and yingli for my 21th birthday and it dun make sense if i get another bag again....i mean....Father, talking about saving up and blessing the poor, i shouldn't be like buying more bags when i think i have more than 20 bags at home rite...though i dun use alot of them already...I am so vain and greedy and i wonder when did the change take place...i think i wasn't like this 2 years back...maybe because danny likes girls who dress up or rather he always praise me when i dress up (positive reinforcement), so i began to dress up and i began to even like dressing up and filling my cupboard with all sorts of clothings...there was a period of time when i actually like mature and gentle, conservative clothings but i think after my attachment...i see a change and now i really appreciate clothes that makes me feel younger, energised and bubbly....not forgetting the sweet image once in a while...haha...Father, i wonder if u will just remind me and internalise Ecclesiastes to me and tell that tis all vanities and all but vanities...hmmm..
Oh, Father, i pray for motivation to exercise and to really work out so that i can build up my health as well...i cannot slack anymore....shoeee!!!! all the way!!!! I was very tired out these few days...really need time to rest and hide in my room but at the same time, i really wish that i can go out and go wild and have fun because of this very strong pent up feeling...haiz....Father, guard my heart and my focus above all....tis a struggle to live in this world and to live in Singapore where i can easily take things for granted.....i feel that man gets distracted too easily and before i even noe it...there's so many times when i just lose my focus...forgive me and help me to make u the ultimate focus and cause for my walk on this earth...thank you for hearing my bimbotic prayer...
In Jesus' most Precious and Fashionable Name i Pray, Amen.
posted by shoeee @ 12:44 AM
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