To be a Light

I sensed this nagging feeling for quite some time...i dunno how to explain it but i noe tis regarding my walk with GOd.

Somewhere deep within my heart, something is lacking and i just felt that....something is missing...

I've been asking myself if i love danny more than i love God but i dunno...i hope not..i dun think so...i can lose danny but i cannot lose GOd in this life of mine...

Somewhere...somehow...somewhat...i dun think i am as focused on GOd, as focused when it comes to loving Him, to serving Him, to trusting, to being in Him...

And tis real scary...i really FEAR that time will cause me to become hardhearted...wat's going on?

There is a compromise somewhere...but WHERE?

As i prayed in prayer meeting yesterday, i felt different...somewat different and i fear even more....

God i want to love you and be passionate about u, to give up my everyday to you and to let u take control but where, which area of my life am i holding on to and not giving up???
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I asked to be gentle and loving this year...yet i forgot HOLINESS....yup, that's wat cui has been trying to tell me....i think i overly focused on my relationship with others and my self discovery process regarding my talents etc...i forgot...

My Father's Standards...

In the midst of learning how to be myself and to bless others with my crappy nature, i thought being strict was not me....true enough....but perhaps i have swung to the other extreme and given myself an excuse not to live by the Word that i devoured hungrily every nite...to live by it...in all sense...not in one area but in all areas...


Holiness....that is one attribute of my GOd...He is Holiness and i must be holy to be set apart for Him and from others...TO BE A LIGHT.

Thank you Lord for you illuminating light...Praise You

:)