Nothing without Him, just walk!

i wrestled long enough...

A painful process and a time when i really ask about my directions in life?

Am i going to take honours?

There is a training scholarship available but i have decided against it...because i dun wan to limit myself...to anything...i dunno...i dun wan to be bonded for one year even if it means securing a future....afterall, a scholar is sought after...

But i gave up. I dun wan to move if i am unsure... no...i am not totally at peace...

I prayed....i cried... i struggled...i waivered....i even went as far as to Dr. Ng's office and broke down before her because i don't noe wat's ahead...because i am lost....wat a lousy impression... great...

She told me that i am cynical about social work....

I fear wat lies ahead....

She advised me to explore my career options...maybe i will find myself happier elsewhere...




I felt so pent up....i am so confused...so tired out as i observed myself in this current attachment...i am drained mentally...



I asked and asked and is still asking...


WHERE, LORD??? HOW, LORD??? WHEN, LORD???




And amidst the inner screams and the blank mind, while gazing at the night sky...


i found it...for a split moment....and i am still reconciling....




"Shuyi, just be faithful with wat u are given...."



Ya....i dun need to noe where...i am going to heaven....as for now and wat he wants me to do in this earthly life.....fret not....He has His plan....

Just be Faithful....
Just be Focused....
Just be Patient....
Just walk...step by step....With HIM...



He noes....He prepares....It has always been safest with Him...


My heart flutters....ooohhh...a little unrest...fear....tt's wat it is....fear of the unknown...


Well Shuyi, trust.

If I dun trust God, i can trust nothing. Nothing.




Nothing without Him.