I packed my room
I packed my room today!!! Finally.
Haha...when i get messy, a day is enough for me to turn my room upside down. And my room was unpacked for 3 whole days!!!
But now i've packed it.
Packing my room and the state of my room always reflect my state of mind and heart. Sometimes i become so tired that i cannot be bothered. Other times i am so frustrated that i must tear everything down. Yet from time to time, i need to clean up the mess and restart again.
Packing my room is something very therapeutic and special to me...have always been...it makes me happy coz i like tidiness and order, everything to be in place and organised, always ready to invite others to my cozy room...a time where i give myself another chance to start all over again...Packing my room is always accompanied with a different state of mind and a heart that tells God "i wan to start all over again".
I love to pack and i can find things to pack everyday. :)
And TODAY i packed.
"Yes God, a new start again...after all this weariness from my attachment, after all the sins from daily living and succumbing to temptations....yes God, i am back again with a clear focus...ready to run again, till the next time i rest, i am here again. Always in you, even in the midst of the mess. Now, different coz i've packed the past again. Another cycle of living for you..."
You noe, i fear....and shoeee fears more than a lot of people. Of all, there's one that i fear the most. I fearing losing You, losing my faith...maybe there's too many people around me whose hearts grew cold with time....and i pray that i will nv be one of those...
The more i noe u, the more i don't noe u...the more i want to noe u, the more i feel like i dun noe enough about u...the more i cherish noeing u, the greater i fear losing u...
But i noe, u will not let go of me...don't. No matter how much i sin, dun give up on me. Yes i rebelled, i banged against the wall from time to time, i was nv a good example but all i have is the faith that keeps trying for you...I can fail but in u, i already have the victory.
I packed my room. And i spoke to my mom for an hour about the gospel. It was clear to her that at this pt in time, even if she noes tomorrow is the end, she wants to worship herself and celebrate the goodness of man, not u. But i will not give up.
Simply becoz u melt the hardest heart. U can melt it...u are God. It is nothing to u at all. I will wait... for the day u demostrate your glory in this family. I will wait.
Meanwhile i shall speak and continue speaking. I will be a cell leader who learns to lead by example. I will learn to strive for u, in u, to be like u...i will learn to uphold the holiness, to be christlike...i will try....and i believe...
You will sanctify me.
Because u are GOD.
Haha...when i get messy, a day is enough for me to turn my room upside down. And my room was unpacked for 3 whole days!!!
But now i've packed it.
Packing my room and the state of my room always reflect my state of mind and heart. Sometimes i become so tired that i cannot be bothered. Other times i am so frustrated that i must tear everything down. Yet from time to time, i need to clean up the mess and restart again.
Packing my room is something very therapeutic and special to me...have always been...it makes me happy coz i like tidiness and order, everything to be in place and organised, always ready to invite others to my cozy room...a time where i give myself another chance to start all over again...Packing my room is always accompanied with a different state of mind and a heart that tells God "i wan to start all over again".
I love to pack and i can find things to pack everyday. :)
And TODAY i packed.
"Yes God, a new start again...after all this weariness from my attachment, after all the sins from daily living and succumbing to temptations....yes God, i am back again with a clear focus...ready to run again, till the next time i rest, i am here again. Always in you, even in the midst of the mess. Now, different coz i've packed the past again. Another cycle of living for you..."
You noe, i fear....and shoeee fears more than a lot of people. Of all, there's one that i fear the most. I fearing losing You, losing my faith...maybe there's too many people around me whose hearts grew cold with time....and i pray that i will nv be one of those...
The more i noe u, the more i don't noe u...the more i want to noe u, the more i feel like i dun noe enough about u...the more i cherish noeing u, the greater i fear losing u...
But i noe, u will not let go of me...don't. No matter how much i sin, dun give up on me. Yes i rebelled, i banged against the wall from time to time, i was nv a good example but all i have is the faith that keeps trying for you...I can fail but in u, i already have the victory.
I packed my room. And i spoke to my mom for an hour about the gospel. It was clear to her that at this pt in time, even if she noes tomorrow is the end, she wants to worship herself and celebrate the goodness of man, not u. But i will not give up.
Simply becoz u melt the hardest heart. U can melt it...u are God. It is nothing to u at all. I will wait... for the day u demostrate your glory in this family. I will wait.
Meanwhile i shall speak and continue speaking. I will be a cell leader who learns to lead by example. I will learn to strive for u, in u, to be like u...i will learn to uphold the holiness, to be christlike...i will try....and i believe...
You will sanctify me.
Because u are GOD.
posted by shoeee @ 10:43 PM
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