WHY??? HOW???

I have been thinking alot about my church these days...i haven pray for her for some time...
I have been observing my zone these days...i haven pray for it for some time...

Evangelism and Christian Faith...it has been on my mind and heart...

Studies...preparations for exams...when it is enough? How much importance should i give to it? When am i striving for excellence? What about other areas of my life? Exams is the least concern on my mind yet the most pressing issue...How much should i strive for myself? How much should i give to serve others? There is no set instructions for my life...merely guidelines...and a Christian peace that may not be so clear to me sometimes....not all the time.

But i really feel very terrible these days...regarding ******. Very dissatisfied.I feel like screaming when i see what is happening! I cannot fathom how does things turn out this way??? What is God trying to tell me??? What is God preparing me for??? Why? How?

Exams is always a time when i pause to reflect and manage my time....a time when i need to list out my priorities...a time for me to uncover my feelings towards many things...i think this is one of those times...really hope that whatever was impressed on me will not leave me. Let this be another turning point. When i internalised all these thoughts, i will be a different person.

As for now, i am troubled and baffled, apalled and disgusted.
And alot of WHYS and HOWS...

May God show the way.