missing the bull's eye

I think...

I dunno how to be a...

a good person
a good child to my parents
a good sister to my brother
a good girlfriend to Danny
a good sis-in-christ to Christians
a good friend to all those out there
a good student in the eyes of many
a good cell leader to my lovely cheezel cell
a good choir member in All Saints' Choir
a good attachment student to FaithActs
a good social work undergraduate in NUS
a good follower to those who walk before me
a good leader to those who walk behind

I really dunno...

The moment i lose my focus...i lose what it means to be and function as a person...

And i am at a loss momentarily...

Worst of all, i lose this focus so often...

I hurt the One who loves me the most...

I dun want Him to be labeled as long suffering...

I dun wan to add to his pain...

I dun want to be an ingrate...

...

All i want is...

to return to the garden where it all started...

to return to the cross where i was redeemed...

I need to...all the time...

the moment i lose the focus...

I am so far from Your Standards...so far from Your expectations...and Everyone's expectations...

I want to be near to You at ALL times...sorry...i hurt You again.