MISTAKES and GROWTH

Yesterday, i did a marathon when i watch this Korean Show starred by Rain for 7 hours straight. And i found this tremendous sense of guilt when i shut down the DVD player. I reflected over my actions and wondered what went wrong, how have i sinned against God? is it wrong to watch DVD for long hours during my holidays? Or is wrong to play so much?

Then it came to me.

Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
There is a time and season for everything.
There is a difference in indulgence and play.

and as i typed, i suddenly remembered that i am on a fast and i am a watchman.

King David would not have fallen into the Bathsheba temptation if he had gone for war with his troops. When did it all begin? To me, it begins when one chooses sloth or chooses to take a break in the season for war and conquest. It was the wrong season for rest. He allowed himself the window of time for leisure and his eyes caught sight of the wrong thing. The bible says our eyes is the lamp of the body. This pair of eyes must set itself on the right things and for me, i haven chosen to set it on the TV screen and allow my soul and my flesh to follow the show for 7 hours straight at the expense of my rest - which is crucial for me to be alert when i pray during my watch hours. I have chosen what is secondary, done the wrong things, indulgence to be more accurate, in this season of prayer, fasting prayer.

Some people think that others are great Christians because they have this and that gifts, because they see visions and dream dreams. At the end of the day, ain't all these purely the grace and the workings of the Lord? The past few months, i have seen and come into contact with so many highly gifted Christians with great passion and zeal, extraordinary life stories and testimonies but i have also seen how many chased after miracles and presence without the commitment to bless. At the end of the day, i learnt that there needs to be a very fine balance between being faithful to all the giftings of the Holy Spirit and living out the fruits of the Spirit. We can all be Samsons, with great strength and might

but so little, so little wisdom.

God, teach me and help be to be teachable,
to learn and to live,
to love and to bless,
to be faithful and obedient,
to be watchful and alert,
to be so in love and in tune with you that my life will not waste away again.
Help me such that the frequencies of me leaving you will shorten to minutes and seconds,
that at all times, i will seek Your countenance and Your Goodness,
and be so refined such that i will really be able to bear the testimony of

Christ and His Kingdom.